up close & personal

I don't want to screw things up because I want this to work. I can honestly say that i'm trying my best to hold my own and be a better girlfriend along the way. It hasnt been easy, and to be honest i feel like its getting harder. Love shouldn't be so hard. But I know that the more you work hard at something, sooner or later you'll get what you deserve. Or so i hope to think anyways...

It just gets discouraging when you know you're trying your very best but it feels like your best is still not enough for them. The worst feeling is knowing that you love the person more than they love you; That you're not always on their mind; that you're not the first person they would want to spend their days with.

I don't want to have to, and i don't think i should have to, compete with others to get my boyfriend's attention and time. I don't want to have to ask him to come see me, he should want to, or be the only one making the effort to make plans with him. I really don't think I'm asking for too much.

I'm in this for the long run, the married life and all. & if were not on the same level then theres really no point. I'm ready to settle down and move on with my life; career & building a family of my own. In the end, its going to be him & I and no one else. The question is, can you picture your life with just me by your side & be fully content with it? even if its just sitting around and doing absolutely nothing.

...If not then whats the point of even trying to make this work.