I don't want to screw things up because I want this to work. I can honestly say that i'm trying my best to hold my own and be a better girlfriend along the way. It hasnt been easy, and to be honest i feel like its getting harder. Love shouldn't be so hard. But I know that the more you work hard at something, sooner or later you'll get what you deserve. Or so i hope to think anyways...

It just gets discouraging when you know you're trying your very best but it feels like your best is still not enough for them. The worst feeling is knowing that you love the person more than they love you; That you're not always on their mind; that you're not the first person they would want to spend their days with.

I don't want to have to, and i don't think i should have to, compete with others to get my boyfriend's attention and time. I don't want to have to ask him to come see me, he should want to, or be the only one making the effort to make plans with him. I really don't think I'm asking for too much.

I'm in this for the long run, the married life and all. & if were not on the same level then theres really no point. I'm ready to settle down and move on with my life; career & building a family of my own. In the end, its going to be him & I and no one else. The question is, can you picture your life with just me by your side & be fully content with it? even if its just sitting around and doing absolutely nothing.

...If not then whats the point of even trying to make this work.

Biting my tongue because that's the only way stopping shit from hitting the fan. I shouldn't get upset, but I am. Different crowd, different life; all these changes are just too much for me right now, and you're not making it easier to transition.

Words don't mean anything when you can't back it up with your actions. Don't make me expect things from you when you're not going to follow through with actions that you say you'll do. Thats been a trend lately, and to be honest I feel like when I'm telling you how i feel it just goes through one ear and out the other because you continue to make the same mistakes.

Put yourself in my shoe.